COVER STORY
Brooke Shields:
American Beauty
With her postpartum depression and public tangle with Tom Cruise behind her, the actress shares her joy at the gifts she’s been given and her hopes for future roles
Photographs by Tom Munro
Brooke Shields’s mother, Teri, once gave her daughter a complicated gift: the actress’s archives. It catalogues the 41-year-old’s life, from her
days as a child model through her iconic Pretty Baby and Blue Lagoon teen years to her work on TV and Broadway. There
are photos of her with Elizabeth Taylor at the 1981 Endless Love premiere; with Dean Martin, who’s laughing, head thrown back. “I said something to make Dean Martin laugh!” says Shields, who only recently started to put the documents in order. “There’s so much—Richard Avedon magazine covers, pictures of me with Andy Warhol. I look back and think, My God, who am I?”
When you meet her, Shields feels deeply familiar. Partly because her look has never changed—she still has a mesmerizing face, that long velvet hair—though there are now crinkles around her blue-green eyes. But mainly because she’s always let us into her life, whether it was speaking out as a teen about her choice to remain a virgin; or talking openly about the in vitro fertilization (IVF) treatments that preceded the birth of her older daughter, Rowan, 3; or writing Down Came the Rain, about the crushing postpartum depression that followed. As great a trove as the archives is, Shields doesn’t need it to tell her who she is now—she knows herself well. “But I need to respect it—to protect it. And I hope my daughters will respect it [one day],” she says. (Daughter Grier was born in April 2006.) “I look back at myself, this innocent person, and I think, Gosh, she’s okay. I handled a lot, and I’m still here.”
LIFE: You were so honest in Down Came the Rain. Did you suffer postpartum depression after Grier was born?
SHIELDS: No. I didn’t have IVF, either. I went in to start IVF, and I was already pregnant. All our jaws dropped. So biochemically I was in a different spot. But if it had come back, I would have been prepared; I wouldn’t have been blindsided.
LIFE: What does that period feel like to you now?
SHIELDS: Depression is so smart—it uses all your references and patterns. From childhood, my MO was “Study until you can’t keep your eyes open, and you’ll get an A.” That’s what I did—I’d win the prize. [But with motherhood] I felt like I was getting F’s across the board. It was all so clear: [Rowan] wasn’t going to love me, I had to go away and not come back.
LIFE: But the medication worked, the depression lifted. And now?
SHIELDS: I’ve become more of who I am. Someone said adversity builds character, but someone else said adversity reveals character. I’m pleasantly surprised with my resilience. I persevere, and not just blindly. I take the best, get rid of the rest, and move on, realizing that you can make a choice to take the good.
LIFE: Do you feel scrutinized as a mom because you admitted to depression?
SHIELDS: I do think, How is Rowan going to feel when she reads this? I had to make it clear it had nothing to do with her. For a long time I went around saying “I love my children!” As if I had to prove it to people. But I’m too tired to keep doing that.
LIFE: Tom Cruise criticized you for taking antidepressants, and you answered him in a New York Times editorial. What did it mean to make peace with him?
SHIELDS: I’ve known Tom since I was 15; he was in Endless Love. I don’t think I let anyone down by reconciling [with him]. I never changed my beliefs. I stand by what I wrote. So when Kate [Holmes, Cruise’s wife] called me herself to invite us to the wedding, it would have felt like a slap to say no. Our daughters were born the same day in the same hospital, so they’re connected too. We went because we’re friends, and it was an unbelievable event. And now we can go on with our lives.
LIFE: What are your daughters like?
SHIELDS: Rowan has a sharp wit. She came out looking like a shark—she cased the joint. And Grier came out like “La-la-la!” With little fairies flying around her head. But I’m careful to not label them, because I don’t want to set them up as [those people]. But 24/7 with the kids? I don’t know how people do it. If my main job was just to be with the two of them, I would not be as effective. I would be short-tempered; I would be less appreciative. Like when they tell you how to play: “Be the princess, but not like that. Say this. No, say it this way.” After a while I’m like, “I don’t even have directors do that to me!” Some people just revel in it, and that’s beautiful. I revel in a different way.
LIFE: Your five-and-a-half–year marriage to TV writer Chris Henchy has survived career, kids, depression. How do you roll with it?
SHIELDS: Early on, we made [an unspoken] promise: “I’m not going anywhere.” I used to do the “I don’t need anybody, I’ve taken care of myself my whole life” thing. I used to run away. But Chris demands of me what he deserves: He asks for my accountability, and I appreciate that.
LIFE: Give me an example.
SHIELDS: He calls me on things. There was a time when I wasn’t a fun person to phone at home. He’d call, and I’d give him this litany [of complaints]. He just said, “You’re making it so I don’t want to call home.” He told me, and then he didn’t have to punish me or avoid me.
LIFE: So what do you give to him?
SHIELDS: Because he’s allowed me to, I give him all of me. He’s not alone when he’s with me.
LIFE: Your mother was your manager and had a reputation for being controlling. You made a point of moving away from her. How are things now?
SHIELDS: I left abruptly when I was 28. Growing independently of her really changed my perspective. I have more empathy. I appreciate her more because she did shelter me from a lot, and she took the rap for it. But she’s an alcoholic, and that affects everything. And she’s very sad. We talk every day, but I have to draw a line. Or I get pulled back in.
LIFE: Has your relationship to your looks changed since having children?
SHIELDS: The truth is, I like my body more when it’s thinner. I have a range of jeans, and I’m happier in the smaller ones. But I don’t have the same drive to get into those jeans. I’m not going to change my day to get there, whereas I used to.
LIFE: You just made a TV pilot based on the novel Lipstick Jungle, by Candace Bushnell [Sex and the City], about three powerful woman friends. You play Wendy, a movie executive and mother. In what way do you relate to her?
SHIELDS: I relate to not apologizing anymore for my power. Women are taught to undermine it, because it’s so threatening. But I don’t have to be self-deprecating anymore to be funny or to be liked.
LIFE: Are you satisfied with the work you’re getting now?
SHIELDS: When Ryan Murphy [the creator of Nip/Tuck, who cast her in a recurring role as a promiscuous therapist] said, “I want to challenge you,” I was ready. For years the ceiling had been low for me. People were comfortable asking for that, and I got used to giving that. But I woke up one day and thought, I’m atrophying. Then I got lucky. Broadway approached me [she replaced the leads in such plays as Wonderful Town]. It was warm to me. The reviews were so glowing, they helped me relax. I don’t like to believe the good: I used to take my papers that got A’s and slide them under the desk. Now I’m going to take the A and put it up on the wall.
LIFE: What do you hope the next few years will bring?
SHIELDS: I want to keep working, but in a bigger way. I can keep getting better. Wherever that takes me, for whatever time, I’m going to maximize it. [At LIFE’s photo shoot] the photographer was trying to copy a picture done 20 years ago. I looked at the photos, which I don’t usually do. And they were identical, but I was a different person. It’s not that I look older. I’m just not that little person any longer.
When you meet her, Shields feels deeply familiar. Partly because her look has never changed—she still has a mesmerizing face, that long velvet hair—though there are now crinkles around her blue-green eyes. But mainly because she’s always let us into her life, whether it was speaking out as a teen about her choice to remain a virgin; or talking openly about the in vitro fertilization (IVF) treatments that preceded the birth of her older daughter, Rowan, 3; or writing Down Came the Rain, about the crushing postpartum depression that followed. As great a trove as the archives is, Shields doesn’t need it to tell her who she is now—she knows herself well. “But I need to respect it—to protect it. And I hope my daughters will respect it [one day],” she says. (Daughter Grier was born in April 2006.) “I look back at myself, this innocent person, and I think, Gosh, she’s okay. I handled a lot, and I’m still here.”
LIFE: You were so honest in Down Came the Rain. Did you suffer postpartum depression after Grier was born?
SHIELDS: No. I didn’t have IVF, either. I went in to start IVF, and I was already pregnant. All our jaws dropped. So biochemically I was in a different spot. But if it had come back, I would have been prepared; I wouldn’t have been blindsided.
LIFE: What does that period feel like to you now?
SHIELDS: Depression is so smart—it uses all your references and patterns. From childhood, my MO was “Study until you can’t keep your eyes open, and you’ll get an A.” That’s what I did—I’d win the prize. [But with motherhood] I felt like I was getting F’s across the board. It was all so clear: [Rowan] wasn’t going to love me, I had to go away and not come back.
SHIELDS: I’ve become more of who I am. Someone said adversity builds character, but someone else said adversity reveals character. I’m pleasantly surprised with my resilience. I persevere, and not just blindly. I take the best, get rid of the rest, and move on, realizing that you can make a choice to take the good.
LIFE: Do you feel scrutinized as a mom because you admitted to depression?
SHIELDS: I do think, How is Rowan going to feel when she reads this? I had to make it clear it had nothing to do with her. For a long time I went around saying “I love my children!” As if I had to prove it to people. But I’m too tired to keep doing that.
LIFE: Tom Cruise criticized you for taking antidepressants, and you answered him in a New York Times editorial. What did it mean to make peace with him?
SHIELDS: I’ve known Tom since I was 15; he was in Endless Love. I don’t think I let anyone down by reconciling [with him]. I never changed my beliefs. I stand by what I wrote. So when Kate [Holmes, Cruise’s wife] called me herself to invite us to the wedding, it would have felt like a slap to say no. Our daughters were born the same day in the same hospital, so they’re connected too. We went because we’re friends, and it was an unbelievable event. And now we can go on with our lives.
LIFE: What are your daughters like?
SHIELDS: Rowan has a sharp wit. She came out looking like a shark—she cased the joint. And Grier came out like “La-la-la!” With little fairies flying around her head. But I’m careful to not label them, because I don’t want to set them up as [those people]. But 24/7 with the kids? I don’t know how people do it. If my main job was just to be with the two of them, I would not be as effective. I would be short-tempered; I would be less appreciative. Like when they tell you how to play: “Be the princess, but not like that. Say this. No, say it this way.” After a while I’m like, “I don’t even have directors do that to me!” Some people just revel in it, and that’s beautiful. I revel in a different way.
LIFE: Your five-and-a-half–year marriage to TV writer Chris Henchy has survived career, kids, depression. How do you roll with it?
SHIELDS: Early on, we made [an unspoken] promise: “I’m not going anywhere.” I used to do the “I don’t need anybody, I’ve taken care of myself my whole life” thing. I used to run away. But Chris demands of me what he deserves: He asks for my accountability, and I appreciate that.
LIFE: Give me an example.
SHIELDS: He calls me on things. There was a time when I wasn’t a fun person to phone at home. He’d call, and I’d give him this litany [of complaints]. He just said, “You’re making it so I don’t want to call home.” He told me, and then he didn’t have to punish me or avoid me.
LIFE: So what do you give to him?
SHIELDS: Because he’s allowed me to, I give him all of me. He’s not alone when he’s with me.
LIFE: Your mother was your manager and had a reputation for being controlling. You made a point of moving away from her. How are things now?
SHIELDS: I left abruptly when I was 28. Growing independently of her really changed my perspective. I have more empathy. I appreciate her more because she did shelter me from a lot, and she took the rap for it. But she’s an alcoholic, and that affects everything. And she’s very sad. We talk every day, but I have to draw a line. Or I get pulled back in.
LIFE: Has your relationship to your looks changed since having children?
LIFE: You just made a TV pilot based on the novel Lipstick Jungle, by Candace Bushnell [Sex and the City], about three powerful woman friends. You play Wendy, a movie executive and mother. In what way do you relate to her?
SHIELDS: I relate to not apologizing anymore for my power. Women are taught to undermine it, because it’s so threatening. But I don’t have to be self-deprecating anymore to be funny or to be liked.
LIFE: Are you satisfied with the work you’re getting now?
SHIELDS: When Ryan Murphy [the creator of Nip/Tuck, who cast her in a recurring role as a promiscuous therapist] said, “I want to challenge you,” I was ready. For years the ceiling had been low for me. People were comfortable asking for that, and I got used to giving that. But I woke up one day and thought, I’m atrophying. Then I got lucky. Broadway approached me [she replaced the leads in such plays as Wonderful Town]. It was warm to me. The reviews were so glowing, they helped me relax. I don’t like to believe the good: I used to take my papers that got A’s and slide them under the desk. Now I’m going to take the A and put it up on the wall.
LIFE: What do you hope the next few years will bring?
SHIELDS: I want to keep working, but in a bigger way. I can keep getting better. Wherever that takes me, for whatever time, I’m going to maximize it. [At LIFE’s photo shoot] the photographer was trying to copy a picture done 20 years ago. I looked at the photos, which I don’t usually do. And they were identical, but I was a different person. It’s not that I look older. I’m just not that little person any longer.